Blogging has evolved into an excuse to escape from the clutches of assignments and revision. I seem to be doomed to a life of indolence here.

I was reading a passage on peer behavior and something struck me: this passage describes, albeit vaguely, the bottled up feelings I had recently, which I could not find the words to express. (this is why I enjoy doing CR exercises; there are always intriguing and thought-provoking passages which are worth a moment, or two, of self-reflection) Here is an extract:

"She feigned being a wide-eyed slate… She played her intellect the same way she played her disorder; she would pretend to be trying to hide it, all the while proudly displaying it, framed in carefully constrcuted 'accidental' scenarios. …her transparent manipulation was so clearly a product of a true discomfort with who she really was that I could not feel inferior to her."

Perhaps I did feel inferior and that is what differentiates me from the narrator; she accepted her friend's behavior while I could not tolerate such duplicity. Maybe I'm being too judgmental but I believe in frankness and outright honesty in a friendship. Then again, am I not contradicting myself by portraying a superficial façade while harboring prejudices deep inside? These prejudices are caused by seemingly simple (and probably foolish) reasons: 'because so-and-so applied to Brown…' and 'because so-and-so has too much an (negative) influence over me…' that makes me wonder if indeed, the real problem lies within myself. Don't worry, this is not so much of a rant than a random harmless expression of my thoughts.

Temporary loss of internet connection and my 'Prince of Egypt' download is disrupted. Sighs.

Right before this passage, I read an article 'Broken People' by Asohan. How true that a hurting and suppressed soul might just be lurking behind every innocent smile and seeming laughter. On a totally unrelated note, there are so many contrasting opinion over the recent most talked about controversy. It is interesting how each side stood so firmly defending themselves, and their actions; both sides of the argument are actually quite sound.

A question, if you may: "Now here's a riddle to guess if you can/ Sing the bells of Notre Dame/ Who is the monster and who is the man?/ Sing the bells, bells, bells, bells of Notre Dame."